Mark Twain, the literary genius behind Huckleberry Finn and master of witty one-liners, had a paradoxical passion: he adored groundbreaking technology but couldn’t turn a profit if his life depended on it. The man who penned “The secret of getting ahead is getting started” somehow missed the memo on staying ahead—at least in business.
Twain’s obsession with innovation was legendary. He owned one of the first private typewriters in the U.S., befriended Nikola Tesla, and invested in futuristic gadgets like a steam-powered pulley belt and a magnetic health device. His most infamous venture was the Paige Compositor, an automatic typesetting machine he called “the eighth wonder of the world.” He poured 300,000(over300,000(over8 million today) into it, only to watch it flop when cheaper, faster linotype machines hit the market. The failure bankrupted him, forcing a global lecture tour to pay debts. Twain later joked, “I was born excited, but I’ve only ever made a success of my failures.”
Not content with mere investments, Twain patented inventions himself. His self-pasting scrapbook—a pre-glue-stick innovation—sold modestly, while his “improved” adjustable garment straps sank without a trace. He even dabbled in board games, creating Mark Twain’s Memory Builder, a history trivia game that historians agree was as fun as a root canal.
What makes Twain’s entrepreneurial misadventures so tragicomic is their contrast with his literary success. The same man who shrewdly copyrighted his works (and became one of America’s first celebrity authors) couldn’t spot a doomed investment if it bit him. He once quipped, “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.” Ironically, his books funded his tech obsessions, creating a cycle of earning and burning cash.
Twain’s business instincts were so famously bad that friends joked he could turn gold into lead. When his publishing firm, Charles L. Webster & Company, went under, it took his savings with it. Yet he remained irrepressibly optimistic, calling himself “the most responsible human being ever born” while dodging creditors.
Today, Twain’s legacy as a tech enthusiast endures. He predicted the internet (“a world-wide telephone system”) and adored gadgets until his death in 1910. His Connecticut home, filled with telephones, early electrical wiring, and a burglar alarm that scared everyone but burglars, stands as a museum to his quirky passions.
So, next time you fumble a startup idea, remember: even Mark Twain couldn’t monetize a scrapbook. His story proves that brilliance in one field doesn’t guarantee success in another—but it sure makes for a hilarious cautionary tale. Just maybe skip the Paige Compositor replica in your living room.
